I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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