drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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