hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
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