I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
