Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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