if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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