the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
