JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
