Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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