Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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