dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
