AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
