I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
