its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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