I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Hippo gnu deer
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
