I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
