Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
