We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
