My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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