my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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