well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
