I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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