Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
