hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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