Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
