BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
