Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
