on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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