Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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