Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
