I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
