Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
