I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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