things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
