are you still at the devil's house?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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