AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
