I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
