East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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