The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I want to be your penis for a week.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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