The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
