she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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