Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
