Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
