i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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