What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
