I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
