"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
