So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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