i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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