Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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