Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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