We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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