No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
